Forever Young
by Ms Chanadler Bong
Summary: Hey guys! This is an AU, I wrote about Marissa and Ryan, in which Marissa doesn't die and she stays in Greece ; Ryan goes to Berkeley. Let me know what you guys think!
1. Chapter 1

It had been a year since everyone had gone their own separate ways. Ryan was at Berkeley, Seth and Summer where in Rhode Island and Marissa was in Greece. But when Ryan, Seth and Summer met again at the dinner that summer, it felt like they'd never left.

Ryan walked into the diner with Seth to find Summer sitting in their usual booth.

"Hey Atwood." Summer said smiling.

"Hey Summer, how've you been?" Ryan asked, as he hugged summer.

"Good, how have you been?" Summer asked, as she pulled away.

"Good too. Where's Marissa?" Ryan asked

"She's still in Greece. She's not coming back, not this summer anyway." Summer said.

"Oh." Ryan said. All of them got engrossed in talking about the past year, how things had been, how much they'd missed home. But even while he was talking to Seth and Summer, he was thinking about Marissa. The truth was, he hadn't stopped thinking about Marissa since he'd dropped her off at the airport.

As Seth and Summer tried to decide what to eat, Ryan flashbacked to him and Marissa at the airport that night.

"So I guess this is it." Marissa said.

"Yeah I guess so." Ryan said.

"I'm sorry for all the craziness." Marissa said.

"It wouldn't be Newport without it." Ryan said smiling.

"Hahah yeah." Marissa said.

"Thank you." Ryan said.

"For what?" Marissa asked.

"For accepting me for who I am, since the day I came here. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you." Ryan said.

"Ditto." Marissa said, giving Ryan a hug. Neither of them wanted to pull away.

"Bye Ryan." Marissa said, as she walked away.

"Bye Marissa." Ryan said.

He hadn't stopped thinking about that night for the past year. Ryan and Marissa had always been those two people who were together even when they weren't. He was really looking forward to seeing her this summer, but after hearing that she wasn't going to be here, Ryan didn't think he'd be able to spend the summer without seeing her.

Once they were home, Seth and Ryan met Sandy and Kirsten. Kirsten was cooking a welcome back lunch for Ryan. She was so happy to see Ryan that she had tears in her eyes but Seth consoled her before she could start crying. Once the four of them were done catching up, Seth and Ryan went to the pool house.

"I've missed this place." Ryan said, putting his bags down. Seth had come before Ryan had and had come to pick Ryan up from the airport and they'd directly gone to the diner from there.

"Yeah, me too. So what's on your mind? Lay it on me." Seth said taking a seat on the edge of Ryan's bed.

"How'd you know there was something on my mind?" Ryan asked.

"Come on Ryan, this is me we're talking about." Seth said.

Ryan hated to admit it, but he'd missed Seth this past year. Sure they'd seen each other at Christmukkah but it wasn't the same as seeing him everyday.

"I've just been thinking about Marissa a lot." Ryan said.

"Oh. What have you been thinking? Seth asked.

"When I dropped her at the airport last year, it just felt like we had unfinished business." Ryan said.

"Unfinished business?" Seth asked.

"I don't know, maybe we're finally ready to give our relationship a real chance. We've both changed" Ryan said.

"Have you spoken to her?" Seth asked.

"No, I thought I'd see her this summer but she's not here." Ryan said.

"Then why don't you go to her?" Seth asked.

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked.

"Go to Greece." Seth said.

Ryan thought about it, it made sense. He wasn't going to stop thinking about Marissa anyway; he might as well go see her. Him wondering about whether or not their relationship had a chance was driving him crazy.


	2. Chapter 2

Ryan was grabbing some coffee, while Sandy was making his morning bagel. Ryan had missed their little morning ritual.

"So how are you liking being back?" Sandy asked, taking a bite of his bagel.

"It's great, I've really missed everyone." Ryan said.

"We missed you too, kid." Sandy said smiling.

Ryan smiled back at Sandy, not knowing what else to say.

"So, what are your plans for the summer?" Sandy asked, taking a seat at the table.

"I was actually thinking of taking a trip this summer." Ryan said, as he joined Sandy.

"A trip?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah, I mean I have the summer off and I thought this would be a great time to see the world." Ryan said.

"Really? What part of the world were you thinking of?" Sandy asked.

"Greece." Ryan said.

"Greece huh? And this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that, Marissa is there too?" Sandy asked, giving Ryan his signature eyebrow raise.

"She's there? I completely forgot." Ryan said, trying to seem innocent.

"Well if that's not the reason, then why don't you go to some other country?" Sandy asked.

"I was thinking Greece because I could learn so much about history and it's such a beautiful country." Ryan said.

"I bet. What's this really about?" Sandy asked.

"Why does this have to be about something?" Ryan asked sheepishly.

"You forget that I was a public prosecutor for years, I can tell when someone is lying to me. Spill it." Sandy said.

"Last year, when Marissa was leaving, I dropped her at the airport and ever since things have felt unfinished. I thought it was just one of those things you feel when someone is leaving but I've spent this past year thinking about her and that moment. My second year is going to start soon and it wont be easy and I need to know before it starts where we stand." Ryan said, finally giving up the charade.

"Do you really think it's a good idea?" Sandy asked.

"What's a good idea?" Kirsten asked, as she walked into the kitchen with Seth. He'd already figured out what was going on.

"Ryan wants to go to Greece for the summer." Sandy said, looking at Kirsten.

"Greece? Why Greece?" Kirsten asked, taking a seat at the dinner table next to Ryan and Sandy.

"Because I want to go see Marissa." Ryan said looking at Kirsten.

"Marissa? I didn't even know you two were friends." Kirsten said.

"They're not." Seth said.

"Then why do you want to go see her?" Kirsten asked Ryan.

"Because Ryan wants to give his relationship with her another chance." Seth said.

"Oh. Well you just got here, you can't leave right away." Kirsten said.

"I'm not leaving right away, I was thinking about leaving next week, if that's okay with you guys." Ryan said.

Kirsten and Sandy shared a look and after what seemed like telepathic communication between the two, Kirsten said, "It is."

"Thank you guys so much, you don't know how much it means to me." Ryan said smiling.

Kirsten and Sandy smiled back at Ryan, happy seeing him so excited about something. Only Marissa Cooper could get Ryan so tied up in knots and excited at the same time.

Ryan hadn't ever been so nervous and excited at the same time, about anything in his life. He knew he had to see Marissa, he owed to himself and her to give them a shot. Their timing was never right, until now. All their struggles, their differences were gone, they'd both grown to be the people they needed each other to be. This was their only thing he was worried about was if Marissa was ready to give them another chance.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan was all packed and ready to go to the airport. He and Seth were in the pool house, when Summer walked in.

"Hey." Summer said as she walked in.

"Hey." Seth said, walking over to her to kiss her.

"Hey Summer." Ryan said, as he got things from different parts of his room.

"Hey Atwood. So you're really doing this huh?" Summer said, taking a seat next to Seth on the corner of Ryan's bed.

"Yup." Ryan said.

"And you're sure you want to do this?" Summer asked.

"Yup." Ryan said, barely looking at summer.

And that was that, they didn't talk about this anymore, primarily because every time someone tried to talk Ryan about it, he gave them the stink eye. Once Ryan had gotten everything, Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, Summer and Ryan were off to the airport.

"Bye Atwood. Don't hurt her and don't get hurt yourself." Summer said giving Ryan a hug.

"Hahah I won't. Take care of yourself, okay?" Ryan said pulling away.

"Bye man. I'm going to miss you." Seth said, giving Ryan an awkward hug.

"I'm going to miss you too." Ryan said smiling a little at Seth.

"Just don't go all Chino on anyone's ass, okay?" Seth said.

"When was the last time I went all chino?" Ryan asked.

Seth didn't say anything, he just raised his eyebrow.

"Fine, I wont." Ryan said.

"Take care of yourself, okay? Eat well and don't do anything stupid. Come back soon, we're really going to miss you around here Ryan." Kirsten said.

"I'm going to miss you too." Ryan said smiling.

"I love you." Kirsten said, hugging Ryan.

"Love you too." Kirsten said.

"Take care of yourself kid, don't do anything stupid okay?" Sandy said, giving Ryan a hug.

"Hahahah I wont!" Ryan said.

And that was it, Ryan was off. He was already getting late, so he had no time to think during the formalities that he had complete but once he took his seat on the plane, it actually hit him; He was going to go to Greece to meet Marissa. What if she says no? What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she was seeing someone? Not going all Chino was going to be harder than Ryan had thought.

Ryan had taken the address of the harbor where Marissa's boat/house was. He took the slip out and told the address to the taxi driver.

Ryan was wearing a blue button down, with a little bit of his wife beater showing, Marissa always loved that look on him. He'd never been vain but he couldn't help but keep checking his hair in the car's rear view mirror. He was just so nervous. He was never one for romantic gestures, unless they were for Marissa.

It took him about an hour to find the harbor. He took about two rounds of the harbor, until he found Marissa's boat. It was then when it occurred to him that maybe Marissa wasn't living there anymore. But he figured now that he was here, it was worth him giving it a shot.

He walked around the back of the boat to find the door. He took a deep breath, to brace himself and knocked on the door before he could talk himself out of it.

Jimmy opened the door. "Ryan? What are you doing here?"

"Hi, I was looking for Marissa." Ryan said awkwardly.

Just then he heard the voice of a girl coming from behind him.

"Dad, who is it?" Marissa asked, walking toward the door.

"Ryan?" Marissa asked.

This was it, Ryan thought taking a deep breath. Marissa never failed to Mesmerize him. Over the past year, he'd try to picture her face, wondering if she'd look the same, but she didn't; She looked even more beautiful than he remembered.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ryan?" Marissa asked, her heart was racing. She couldn't understand what was going on.

"Hi." Ryan said smiling.

"I'll give you two a minute, it was nice seeing you again Ryan." Jimmy said, as he walked back inside the boat.

"You too." Ryan said, smiling at Jimmy.

"What are you doing here?" Marissa asked.

"I hadn't seen you in a while, so I thought I'd come see you." Ryan said.

"You came all the way to Greece, to see me?" Marissa asked.

"I thought I'd see you back home this summer, but when you didn't show, I figured I'd see you and explore the country at the same time." Ryan said.

"Really?" Marissa asked, still not quite convinced.

"Yeah." Ryan said trying to seem nonchalant.

"Well I'm glad to see you." Marissa asked, giving Ryan a hug.

"You too." Ryan said, hugging her back. No matter how far apart they were, or how much time it had been since they were last together, that spark never quite went away for them.

"Come on in." Marissa said, moving a side after realizing that she hadn't let Ryan in yet.

Ryan smiled at Marissa and followed her inside.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Marissa asked.

"No, I'm good, thanks." Ryan said, taking a seat on the couch.

"So for how long are you here?" Marissa asked, taking a seat next to Ryan.

"I don't know yet. I haven't really put a timeline to it." Ryan said.

"Oh." Marissa said.

"Yeah. So what do you do here anyway?" Ryan asked, as he looked around the boat.

"We sail and there's a club here like the Bait Shop, so we hang out there." Marissa said.

"Do bands come here?" Ryan asked.

"Not often, but when they come, it's like the whole country shows up." Marissa said laughing.

"That's great." Ryan said smiling.

"How's Berkeley?" Marissa asked.

"It's great, it's hard but I've finally realized this is where I belong. You were right, it feels right." Ryan said.

"That's great, I always knew things would work out for you." Marissa said smiling. She couldn't help feel a little nostaligic, remembering the conversation she'd had with Ryan about Berkeley a few weeks before she'd left.

"So what have you decided about college?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know, I think I'll go to college, I just don't know when." Marissa said.

"Maybe at Berkeley?" Ryan asked, giving Marissa the smile that had made her fall in love with him. This was the smile that she liked to believe Ryan only had with her. It really was good seeing him, she hadn't realized it but she'd really missed him.

"Maybe." Marissa said smiling.

Ryan and Marissa spent the whole afternoon catching up on all that had happened this past year. Marissa invited Ryan to this party at her friend's house that she was going to that night.

Ryan was never one to be nervous about these things but he really wanted to fit in with Marissa's friends. Not that he knew what fitting in meant. All he knew for sure was that he wanted Marissa back and he didn't care what he'd have to do to do it.


	5. Chapter 5

The party Marissa was taking Ryan to was at her friend's house. It was a huge house, filled with about a hundred people; kegs everywhere. Her friend's name was Greg and he was tall brunette. When Ryan and Marissa reached the party, Greg gave Marissa a hug and after saying hi to Ryan, took Marissa by the hand to get a drink.

Ryan was used to not fitting in but this was something else, this was like a different world. Everyone knew Marissa; it was like she'd completely started over. And while Ryan was happy for her, a part of him was jealous that she was so happy in a life without him.

Marissa tried keeping track of Ryan and staying with him. Once Marissa had said hi to everyone, she came and stood with Ryan, who was standing in a corner of the room, awkwardly looking around.

"Hey." Ryan said with his signature smirk.

"Hey, I'm sorry I haven't been able to spend more time with you." Marissa said.

"That's okay.." Ryan said, he was going to say more but he was interrupted by Greg.

"Come on Marissa, let's dance." Greg said.

Marissa looked over at Ryan, which prompted Greg to say, "Ryan, come let's dance."

"No, thanks, I don't really dance." Ryan said awkwardly.

"Oh come on." Greg said.

After Ryan didn't seem to budge, Greg said, "Okay Marissa, at least you come."

Marissa looked at Ryan helplessly.

"Go, don't worry about me." Ryan said.

Marissa mouthed the word sorry and went onto the dance floor. She seemed to be having so much fun that Ryan couldn't help but smile. He'd really missed seeing her happy. Even during the time, she was in Newport, Marissa hadn't really been happy. Finally, after a very very long time, Ryan saw the Marissa he'd met when he'd first moved to Newport. She still had scars that needed healing, issues that haunted her but she was moving forward, she'd become a better person because of and inspite of all of those things.

It was seeing Marissa so at home with these people, that made Ryan realize that getting Marissa back would be harder than he had ever imagined. She was finally happy, settled, how could he ask her to give all that up and go back to a life he wasn't even sure she wanted.

After a couple of songs, Marissa came back to Ryan, hoping she had successfully escaped her friends. When some girls came to get Marissa back on the dance floor, she pulled Ryan along with her. Ryan tried swaying, dancing a little but they never really taught dancing at Chino Hills. So he slid out of the crowd the first chance he got and took his place in the corner.

After what felt like hours of just standing in the same place, Marissa finally came to Ryan.

"I'm so sorry." Marissa said.

"That's okay, I'm glad you had fun." Ryan said, smirking at Marissa.

Marissa smiled at Ryan and said, "I think we should go, it's getting late."

"Sure." Ryan said, trying to hide how relived her really was.

Ryan drover Marissa's car because she'd had a couple of drinks. She wasn't drunk or anything, she'd given up that part of her life even before she came to Greece, but Ryan just felt better being the one to drive Marissa home. No matter what happened, he'd always be protective of her.

Once they'd reached Marissa's doorstep, she turned to Ryan and asked," So, where are you staying?"

"This hotel a couple of miles from here." Ryan said.

"How are you going to go back?" Marissa asked.

"I was going to take a cab." Ryan said.

"You wont get a cab this time of night." Marissa said.

"Crap." Ryan said instinctively.

"It's okay, you can stay with me tonight." Marissa said.

"Are you sure?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah." Marissa said unlocking the door.

Ryan helped Marissa make up the couch in the living room. As Marissa was going to go to her room, she stopped in the doorway of the living room and asked, "Ryan, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Ryan said, turning to look at Marissa.

"Why are you really here?" Marissa asked.

"I just wanted to see you." Ryan said.

Marissa didn't say anything for a minute, she just looked at Ryan. For the first time tonight, even she could feel the sparks too.

"It took seeing you to realize, how much I've missed you." Marissa said.

"I've missed you too." Ryan said.

Marissa left the room with a smile on her face. It was very unlike Ryan to just show up here but even though she didn't know it until now but this was all she'd ever wanted. She'd sorted her life out but there was always something missing and tonight she realized that the only thing missing, the only things keeping her life from being near perfect was Ryan.


	6. Chapter 6

Ryan and Marissa spent the whole day together. They just never ran out of things to talk about. Marissa was so happy to see this side of Ryan, the side of him that actually wanted to talk about what things were like; what they were like.

Ryan and Marissa were laughing in the living room, when there was knock on the door. Marissa looked at Ryan, still laughing and then got up to open the door. There was a tall blonde guy standing at the door and seeing him made Marissa and Ryan's laughter stop.

The blonde pulled Marissa into a kiss and Ryan got up to punch him but stopped when he saw that Marissa was kissing him back.

"I've missed you so much." The blonde said. When he looked over Marissa's shoulder and saw Ryan, he moved to shake hands with him. "Hi, I'm Jake." He said.

"Ryan." Ryan said shaking Jake's hand and looking over at Marissa for an explanation.

"Ryan, this is Jake, my boyfriend." Marissa said looking at Ryan. "Jake this is my friend Ryan from Newport."

"It's nice to meet you." Jake said smiling at Ryan.

"Yeah, you too." Ryan said. He looked over at Marissa who just looked away. "I should get going."

"Oh come on, stay Ryan, I just got here. I'd like to get to know you." Jake said.

Seeing how nice Jake was, made it harder for Ryan to hate him. "I should really get going, maybe some other time." Ryan said and started toward the door before Jake or Marissa could say anything.

"Bye." Jake said after Ryan.

Ryan got into a cab to go back to his hotel. He was so angry; he couldn't believe Marissa didn't tell him she had a boyfriend. He wasn't sure he could handle this kind of drama all over again. What was the point of him being here if Marissa had a boyfriend, maybe he should just go back home, he thought.

Ryan lay on his bed, trying to watch TV. He needed something to distract him, he couldn't think about Marissa and Jake right now. He was flipping through channels when he heard a knock at the door. He decided to ignore it but the person at the other end just wouldn't stop knocking. So, Ryan got out of bed getting even more pissed off than he already was, if that was even possible.

"I'm sorry." Marissa said.

"It's fine, you don't owe me an explanation." Ryan said walking back inside his room.

"But I do." Marissa said walking in behind Ryan.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ryan asked turning back to face Marissa. Looking at her made his anger start to melt away.

"I never got the chance." Marissa said.

"You had plenty of chances." Ryan said.

"Why should it even matter?" Marissa said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Ryan said turning away from Marissa.

"Does it matter Ryan?" Marissa asked. She knew she was pushing him but she knew this was the only way to get him to say what she wanted to hear.

Ryan didn't say anything for sometime, the silence surrounding both of them.

"Ryan?" Marissa asked again.

"Of course it matters! It's always mattered." Ryan said.

Both of them just stood there, looking at each other; neither of them saying a word. There was nothing left to say. Both of them knew how they felt but neither of them was ready to say it. Ryan had decided to tell Marissa that evening about how he felt, but before he could, Jake had come along and everything had changed. Why did everything have to always get ruined whenever Ryan felt he was finally going to be happy?


	7. Chapter 7

Ryan had been keeping his distance from Marissa since he found out about her and Jake. Marissa hadn't stopped calling since she'd come to his room to apologize but he just couldn't be around her right now. He decided to make plans to go back, there was no point staying if he wasn't going to be with Marissa.

He hadn't gotten out of his hotel room for the past couple of days and he was looking for flights back, when there was knock on his door. He got out of bed, wondering who'd come see him at 8 in the morning on a Saturday.

"Hey." Marissa said.

"Hey." Ryan said, stepping aside to let Marissa in.

"You haven't been answering any of my calls." Marissa said, walking into Ryan's room.

"Yeah, I've just been trying to figure something's out." Ryan said.

"Please don't shut me out Ryan." Marissa said, taking a seat on Ryan's bed.

"I'm not shutting you out, I just wanted to give you and Jake some space and myself some space. "Ryan said, taking a seat next to Marissa.

"I know I should've told you, I just couldn't." Marissa said, now looking into Ryan's eyes.

"Why not?" Ryan asked.

"Because we finally seemed like the people we used to be before everything got screwed up." Marissa said.

"But we're not those people anymore Marissa, we cant go back to that and the truth is I don't even want to. I want to move forward, like you have. You've built a life here and that's why I'm going back home next week." Ryan said.

"What? Why?" Marissa asked.

"You have a life here and I don't want to do anything to ruin it." Ryan said.

"You wont." Marissa said.

"I cant be here forever Marissa and the sooner I leave, the easier it's going to be." Ryan said.

"You didn't come here just to see me, what's really going on?" Marissa asked.

"Nothing." Ryan said, standing up.

"Come on Ryan, I know you better than that, what's going on?" Marissa asked, standing up too.

Ryan didn't say anything, he knew saying what he really felt would ruin everything but when Marissa kept pushing him, he couldn't keep it in anymore.

"I came here because I haven't stopped thinking about you since the night I dropped you at the airport and things just somehow feel incomplete between us. I couldn't go on any longer not knowing whether or not you felt the same way. I wanted to give us another shot, now that we're older and wiser but that was before I saw how happy you are here. With Jake." Ryan said.

Marissa sat back on the bed not knowing what to say. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I didn't want to rush into it, plus what difference does it make anymore, you're with Jake." Ryan said, sitting next to Marissa on his bed.

Marissa just looked into Ryan's eyes, not saying anything. She felt like she was drowning in the blue of his eyes, forgetting all her problems but there was no escaping this. She was with Jake and he was a great guy but the tension and the sparks with Ryan were always there, they always had been since the first time they'd seen each other. How was she suppose to choose between the life she left behind and the life she'd built here when she was just starting to find out who she really was; who she was outside of the drama of Newport beach.


	8. Chapter 8

Ryan had made up his mind to leave and Marissa decided to take him to dinner to try and talk him out of it but somehow during the dinner, they'd both forgotten that he was going, or maybe they were just pretending. They spoke about everything from the weather to high school, anything to not talk about what they were both dying to say, neither of them wanted to say what really hurt.

"I had a great time tonight." Marissa said, as she and Ryan walked up to her door.

"Me too." Ryan said, smiling a little.

"Do you want to come in for some cake or something?" Marissa asked.

Ryan hesitated for a moment and then said, "Sure."

They had some cake and talked about how Marissa had settled down here, how no one thought Greece could do such wonders for her.

"I should get going." Ryan said, standing up.

"Don't go." Marissa said.

"It's getting late, I'll see you tomorrow." Ryan said.

"No, not just tonight, don't go back to Newport." Marissa said, she just couldn't hold it in any more.

"Marissa.." Ryan said.

"No, you don't have to go." Marissa said.

"I need to go Marissa." Ryan said.

"No you don't, you're choosing to go." Marissa said.

"Do you really think I want to leave you and go back to Newport where I know I'm just going to spend every minute thinking about you anyway?" Ryan said.

"Then don't go." Marissa said, starting to cry.

"I have to Marissa." Ryan said.

"Why?" Marissa asked, raising her voice.

"Because you have Jake and I can't be here knowing that you and I don't have a chance. I love you Marissa and I don't want to ruin this life you've built for yourself. I haven't seen you this happy in years." Ryan said.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't leave." Marissa said, crossing her arms.

"It's because I love you that I'm leaving. I know what it's like to have a crappy life and then suddenly get everything you've ever dreamed of. You were a part of that dream Marissa and I owe it to you, to let you have yours." Ryan said.

"I don't want you to go, we can figure something out." Marissa said, calming down.

"How?" Ryan asked.

Marissa didn't say anything; she didn't know what she could possible say to make Ryan stay. She just knew she needed him here.

"Look, there's nothing to figure out. I'll go back and you can go back to your life. Come on Marissa, even if we did get together you'd be in Greece and I'd be in California, how would we make that work?" Ryan asked.

"You just have to want to make it work." Marissa said.

"Look, I think both of us just need some sleep. You should get some rest and I'll see you later." Ryan said, walking toward the door.

"I don't need sleep, I need you." Marissa said.

Ryan turned and looked over at Marissa. He wanted to kiss her so badly right now, but she had a boyfriend and if he did her whole life here would get ruined. He'd never loved anyone the way he loved Marissa, not even Teresa and it was because he loved her that he had to not let his feelings get in the way of him protecting her.

"I'm right here Marissa, I always will be." Ryan said, walking out the door before Marissa could say anything else. He didn't know how much longer he could stop himself from kissing her and stealing her away from Jake.

Marissa sat on the couch and began to cry. She just didn't understand why Ryan felt the need to protect her, she was a big girl, and she knew what she was doing. ; She knew what she wanted and she wanted Ryan. She'd always wanted Ryan, she'd just never thought they'd ever been a her and Ryan again. They drove each other crazy when they were together but she'd never felt a love so pure before she'd met Ryan. It had always been him.


	9. Chapter 9

Marissa sat in her living room, crying. She just couldn't get herself to be okay with Ryan leaving, it was all just too much. When she first saw him, standing at her doorstep, she'd thought this was their chance, they were older and wiser and away from the drama that had kept them apart. Marissa was lost her thoughts of Ryan when there was a knock on the door. Marissa wiped her tears as she walked toward the door.

"Hey." Jake said smiling. Seeing Marissa's face, he asked What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Marissa said walking inside, leaving the door open for Jake to follow her.

"Something is wrong." Jake said.

"It's nothing Jake." Marissa said, sitting back on the couch that was placed at the center of her living room.

"Come Marissa, you can tell me. I know it's bothering you, I can see you've been crying. "Jake said, taking a seat next to Marissa.

"It's nothing, I just got something in my eye." Marissa said, trying to wipe her eyes and get herself together as much as she could without making it too obvious.

"Right." Jake said. He wanted to say more but he knew there was no point pushing Marissa to tell him what was going on because it would just push her farther away. So he did all he knew how to do, just be there for her. He put his arms around Marissa's shoulders. "You don't need to tell me if you don't want. We can just sit here like this for as long as you need."

Marissa looked up at Jake, with tears in her eyes. All this time she'd been crying at the thought of losing Ryan but this time, it was more; she was now crying because of how great Jake was. He had been so unconditional in loving Marissa and knowing that she'd been crying for Ryan would just break his heart. She didn't deserve him. She hadn't thought about how true this statement was for her, she'd been so caught up in trying to make Ryan stay that she'd forgotten about Jake, who was always here.

He was the reason her life here worked, besides her dad; Jake had been her only solid ground this past year. The truth was that she did care about him, she maybe even loved him but she was powerless in front of the hold Ryan had over her. So as she felt frustrated and lost, Marissa began crying on Jake's shoulder, not knowing what else to do. He didn't say anything; he just put his head on Marissa's and pulled her in closer.

Whenever Marissa got a little hysterical, he'd whisper in her ear, saying "It's going to be okay, whatever it is, we'll figure it out."

It was in these moments that Marissa realized that she needed to decide whether or not she even wanted a "we" with Jake. The truth was that had it been any other guy in front of Ryan, it wouldn't have been a choice, she would choose Ryan with her eyes closed. But this was Jake and he was such an amazing guy, she didn't know any other guy who'd ever be there for her the way Jake had besides Ryan and that's why she was so confused. Ryan was a part of Marissa's past; a past she so terribly wanted to forget. And Jake was her new beginning, her future. How was she suppose to choose between who she used to be and who she'd become?


	10. Chapter 10

Marissa hadn't spoken to Jake or Ryan for the past couple of days. She'd tried to figure out what she wanted but she just couldn't, how was she suppose to choose who she wanted to be with when Ryan wanted to leave the first chance he got.

It was the day that Ryan was leaving; he walked around the room, picking up the things that he had to pack. He hadn't spoken to Marissa for days and he hadn't even tried, he thought that this was her answer; she'd chosen Jake. Ryan was hurt, more than he even realized but he knew that it was for the best, all he really wanted was for Marissa to be happy and if this was what would make her happy, then he'd find a way to be okay, eventually.

Marissa knew today was the day Ryan was leaving and she just couldn't get herself to get out of bed. She knew that she'd have to make her decision but she just couldn't get herself to decide because she knew that if she chose Jake, she'd lose Ryan forever but maybe she'd already lost him.

Ryan got his bags and took one last look at his hotel room. Somehow a trip that he thought would be the best of his life had left him completely and utterly heartbroken. He took a deep breath and walked away, somehow feeling like he was walking away from more than just a hotel room; he was walking away from Marissa.

Marissa was in her room, when her dad knocked at her door.

"Come in." Marissa said.

"Hey kiddo." Jimmy said walking in.

"Hi dad." Marissa said, sitting up straight.

"How are you doing?" Jimmy asked.

"Okay." Marissa said.

"Good, Jake is here to see you." Jimmy said.

"Oh." Marissa said.

"If you don't want to meet him, I could ask him to come by later." Jimmy said.

"No, it's okay. I'll be out in a minute." Marissa said. She knew she had to face Jake sometime.

Jimmy smiled at Marissa and left her to get dressed.

Ryan had reached the airport, but a part of him didn't want him to leave. The trip had made him realize how much he'd truly loved and missed Marissa. But somehow he found a way to shut out the voice in his head telling him to stay and went to his gate.

He'd just completed all his formalities and he was moving toward his boarding gate when he heard someone call out his name. He turned back to see who it was.

"Marissa?" Ryan said, from the line, when he saw her standing at the end of his line.

"Don't go." Marissa said.

Ryan left his line and ran to Marissa.

"Don't go." Marissa said, now looking into Ryan's eyes.

"I don't want to but I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness with Jake." Ryan said.

"There is no me and Jake." Marissa said.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"We broke up." Marissa said.

"Why?" Ryan asked.

"Because I realized how much I love you. I realized that no matter how far I run from Newport and who I used to be, my heart will always belong to you; I want a better future, a future that's with you." Marissa said.

Ryan smiled and kissed Marissa as passionately as he could. He'd never been one to speak his feelings but he tried to say all he could through that kiss, somehow a load lifting from both their hearts; both of them finally feeling complete.


	11. Chapter 11

It was funny to Ryan how fast Greece had turned from hell to paradise for him. He and Marissa had spent every waking minute together for the past week and it honestly felt like the time when he'd first come to Newport, when he'd first fallen for Marissa; but somehow this was better, as if they were getting a chance to redo everything that had gone wrong.

As much as Ryan was loving this, he knew he had to speak to Marissa about how they were going to make this work. He was going to go back to college in a couple of weeks and neither of them were big on long distance relationships.

They were sitting on the deck of Jimmy's boat, both of them lying on the little blanket that they'd spread on the floor; they'd lost track of time, they'd just spent most of their time looking at each other and at the stars.

"I'm really glad you stayed." Marissa said, still looking at the stars.

"Me too." Ryan said, turning toward Marissa with a smirk on his face. He couldn't believe he was here with Marissa and neither of their pasts was here to come and ruin this moment that was near perfect. Ryan leaned in and kissed Marissa, somehow making the moment reach its perfection.

"I wish we could just stay like this forever." Marissa said, as she pulled away.

"Me too, but we kind of have to talk about how we're going to make this work." Ryan said sitting up a little.

"I know, I just don't want to ruin this." Marissa said.

"I know but maybe figuring things out will make it even better." Ryan said, trying to convince himself and Marissa. He'd never been big on talking but at this point, he was ready to do anything to keep his relationship with Marissa as drama free as possible.

"Okay." Marissa said looking down at her lap. She'd felt the perfectness of the moment too but maybe it was too good to be true, she thought. She knew they'd have to talk eventually but she'd been avoiding it.

"I have to go back to college in a couple of weeks." Ryan said.

"Oh yeah, I completely forgot." Marissa said getting a little sad. She'd forgotten that she and Ryan had lives outside of each other but the truth was, that life didn't really seem to matter right now.

"Why don't you come with me?" Ryan asked.

"What?" Marissa asked.

"Yeah, I mean we'd always decided to go to Berkeley together and this was suppose to always just be a one year thing, right?" Ryan said.

"Yeah but I don't know if I want to go to college or not." Marissa said, crossing her arms.

"Then what do you want to do?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know." Marissa said.

"Just think about it okay?" Ryan said, trying not to push Marissa, he knew she was getting upset.

Marissa turned away from Ryan and went back to looking at the stars. She didn't want to make decisions about her future or anything really. She just wanted to enjoy the moment with Ryan, she'd spent her whole life dealing with drama and things she was never ready for. Right now, in this moment all she needed was Ryan and being with him was all the she'd ever wanted, he was the only thing she'd ever been sure of. She knew that no matter what she decided or where she went, Ryan would always be her future.


	12. Chapter 12

Ryan had decided to give Marissa some space when it came to Berkeley, he knew how hard it had been for her to build the life she had here. Maybe she just wasn't someone who was meant for college, he knew he'd been that way a couple of years ago. Ryan tried his best to be as understanding as he could but he couldn't help but worry about how they would make things work if Marissa chose Greece.

Marissa had spent the past couple of days thinking about what she wanted. She knew that she'd find a way to make things work with Ryan somehow, she just didn't know if she was ready to leave her new life just yet. She missed Summer, Seth and everyone else back home at Newport. Newport would always be home but she'd struggled so much there that she didn't trust herself to go back to her old life and not get caught up in everything that had almost destroyed her.

Ryan and Marissa had consciously not spoken about what Marissa had decided. They just tried to push all the uncertainty aside and decided to go for dinner. Sometimes, when the two of them were together, it just felt like the rest of the world and all its problems just seemed to disappear.

Ryan and Marissa were feeling nostalgic at dinner, talking about the night they'd met.

"Do you remember the night we met?" Marissa asked.

"Of course I do." Ryan said.

"Who are you?" Marissa said, with a straight face, looking into Ryan's eyes.

"Whoever you want me to be." Ryan said.

Ryan and Marissa looked at each other for a couple of seconds and then both of them burst out laughing. After a minute or two, as Marissa was trying to catch her breath; she looked over at Ryan, somehow really seeing him for the first time that night. He looked so beautiful, so happy, his blue eyes sparkling . Seeing Ryan like that somehow made all of Marissa's inhabitations fall away.

"I'll go to Berkeley." Marissa said abruptly, snapping Ryan out of his fit of laughter.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"I want to go." Marissa said.

"But I thought you weren't sure about college." Ryan said.

"I'm not." Marissa said.

"Then?" Ryan asked.

"I'm sure about you." Marissa said smiling.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, we can figure something else out." Ryan said. He didn't want her to later resent him for going to college.

"I want to. I'm not sure what it's exactly going to mean for me but I'm willing to try it because I'll get to be with you." Marissa said.

Ryan smiled and leaned over and kissed Marissa. For the first time in the past two weeks, Ryan breathed a sigh of relief. He was now sure he and Marissa were going to make this work, they'd be okay; maybe for the very first time.


	13. Chapter 13

Marissa had been trying to get her application to Berkeley ready in time but she just couldn't do it. She didn't know how to write her essay or be able to tell the college why she ran off her without completely ruining her chances of getting in.

Marissa sat at the table in her room, her laptop in front of her. She'd been at it the whole morning and nothing was coming to her. She was just so frustrated, she wanted this, she wanted to be with Ryan and finally have everything she'd always wanted come true but nothing ever seemed to work. Marissa held her head in her hands, feeling utterly and completely lost.

Ryan walked into her room and seeing her so upset, rushed over to her. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this." Marissa said.

"Do what?" Ryan asked, taking a seat next to Marissa.

"Apply to Berkeley, I don't know how to do all this." Marissa said.

"What happened?" Ryan said.

"How am I suppose to tell them that, I can here to Greece because I needed a fresh start because of all the things I screwed up in New Port?" Marissa asked, a tear falling from her eye.

"You tell them just that." Ryan said, putting an arm around Marissa's shoulders.

"Why would they take someone like me?" Marissa asked.

"Because they took someone like me. Look, a lot of people who've had a bad past get into these colleges, because just because their past was bad, it doesn't mean their future has to be too. I was struggling ,when I first came to New Port, I was not college material. But we found a way for me and now we'll find a way for you." Ryan said.

Somehow Ryan always found a way to make everything seem a little easier for Marissa. What Ryan said, calmed Marissa down and somehow managed to give her hope that maybe she could actually make all her dreams come true.

Ryan and Marissa spent the whole day trying to perfect Marissa's application and Marissa wrote the truth in her essay, but her side of the truth. At first, she was apprehensive but then she looked over at Ryan and she realized that he'd become this amazing man because he'd embraced his past and accepted it as a part of himself, instead of running away from it; and now she was going to do the same.

Once they were done, both of them went to dinner. Marissa was satisfied with her application and so was Ryan.

"Thank you." Marissa said.

"For what?" Ryan asked, looking up from his plate.

"For not telling me give up." Marissa said, smiling.

"You never let me give up either." Ryan said smiling.

Ryan and Marissa spent the rest of the night talking, somehow forgetting all their problems. Marissa couldn't help but hate the thought of Ryan leaving soon but she pushed the thought away; thinking that he was here now and that was all that mattered.


	14. Chapter 14

Marissa couldn't think of a time she'd been happier than she'd been this summer, with Ryan. It was nothing short of heaven, having him here without all the drama that always kept them apart. She'd already applied to Berkeley and she was awaiting their reply.

Marissa and Ryan were lying in bed together, just looking at each other.

"I should get back to the hotel." Ryan said, still looking at Marissa.

"Why?" Marissa asked.

"I need to start packing." Ryan asked.

"For what?" Marissa asked.

"I'm leaving tomorrow night, remember?" Ryan said.

Marissa's face fell. She'd completely forgotten about Ryan having to go back. She realized that her perfect world with just her and Ryan could've lasted only so long.

Ryan started getting off the bed.

"Stay for a little while, please?" Marissa asked, pulling Ryan by his hand.

Ryan lay back down on the bed and pulled Marissa into his arms and they just lay there, neither of them saying a word.

The next day, Marissa was in Ryan's hotel room helping him pack. Ryan could see how sad Marissa was.

"You'll be with me in no time, you know. I'm just going to back to New Port for these last two weeks of summer and then we'll both be together at college." Ryan said, looking at Marissa as her put things into his suitcase.

"If I get in, which I wont." Marissa said.

"Of course you'll get in." Ryan said.

"If I was in their place, I wouldn't select me." Marissa said.

"Well, I'm sure that they feel otherwise." Ryan said, walking over to Marissa to give her a hug.

"I know that you have to go, but I really wish you didn't." Marissa said as a few tears fell down her cheeks.

Ryan pulled away from their hug and wiped away Marissa's tears. "I'll be with you before you even know it."

They spent the rest of the day packing. They'd decided to go and grab a burger at what had become their new favorite diner before Ryan's flight. They'd been generally talking when Marissa's phone buzzed.

"Who is it?" Ryan asked, seeing Marissa's worried expression.

"Berkeley." Marissa said.

"What does it say?" Ryan asked.

"I haven't opened it." Marissa asked.

"Open it then!" Ryan said.

"I cant, you do it!" Marissa said.

Ryan quickly came and sat next to Marissa and took her phone.

"So?" Marissa asked with her eyes closed.

Ryan looked over at her with a huge smile on his face.

"You got in!" Ryan said.

"I got in?" Marissa asked almost screaming.

"You got in!" Ryan said hugging Marissa.

"I cant believe it." Marissa said.

"I told you it would happen." Ryan said.

"You did." Marissa said, leaning over to kiss Ryan.

"Come home with me tonight." Ryan said.

"What?" Marissa asked.

"Go back to New Port with me. You're dad's traveling on business anyway and I'm sure we could get you a ticket." Ryan said.

Marissa didn't say anything.

"Come on, please?" Ryan asked.

"Okay!" Marissa said smiling.

She hadn't been back home for a year and she didn't like who she used to be when she was there and she hated her fear of becoming that person again but then again, things weren't the same; she wasn't the same. She'd grown into the kind of person she was proud of and not even New Port could take that away.


	15. Chapter 15

Ryan and Marissa didn't get a change to talk during the formalities but once they finally boarded the plane, Ryan could see the worry on Marissa's face.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Marissa asked, looking over at Ryan.

"Yeah, things are different now, you have nothing to worry about." Ryan said, taking Marissa's hand in his and that was enough to calm Marissa's nerves.

Seth, Summer, Sandy and Kirsten were at the airport to pick up Ryan.

"There he is." Sandy said, looking over to the others.

"Yeah and is that Marissa with him?" Seth asked squinting his eyes.

"What?" Summer said, moving in front of all of them to see.

"Hey, you guys." Ryan said, walking over to Kirsten to hug her.

"Coop!" Summer said, as she ran over to Marissa to hug her.

"Hey man." Seth said, shaking Ryan's hand.

"What are you doing here?" Summer asked Marissa.

"I just hadn't been home in a while and I thought this was as good a time as any to come and see you and everyone else." Marissa said.

"I'm so glad to see you!" Summer said, hugging Marissa again.

"Hey." Seth said to Marissa, awkwardly.

"Hey Seth, how are you?" Marissa asked.

"Not bad actually." Seth said.

"Should we?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah." Kirsten said and they all began moving toward the car.

"It's good to have you back, both of ya." Sandy said, putting his arm around Ryan and Marissa.

After a traditional Cohen family dinner, which consisted of Chinese take out; Marissa and Summer decided to go home.

"I should get going, I still have to go and see my mom." Marissa said.

"Yeah, I'll give you a ride." Summer said, getting up from the table along with Marissa.

"Thanks for dinner, Sandy and Kirsten." Marissa said, smiling at them.

"It was our pleasure, we should do it again sometime." Kirsten said.

"Yeah." Marissa said.

"Goodnight." Sandy said.

"Goodnight." Marissa and Summer said in chorus and Marissa, Summer, Seth and Ryan walked toward the door.

"I'll call you." Marissa said, kissing Ryan on the cheek.

"Goodnight Cohen." Summer said, giving Seth a quick kiss.

Summer and Marissa then headed home.

"So…" Summer said.

"So.." Marissa said.

"How was Greece? Tell me everything!" Summer said, excitedly.

"There's not much to tell." Marissa said.

"Really? You just came home after a year, with Atwood. Do you really want to stick with this whole there's nothing to tell crap?" Summer asked.

"Okay so, maybe a couple of things happened." Marissa said, embarrassedly.

"Tell me everything." Summer said.

"So, I was dating this guy, Jake. He was really nice and we'd been dating about six months when Ryan came to see me. I was pretty confused between the two of them for a while but I think subconsciously, I always knew it was Ryan." Marissa said.

"Wow, you had quite the year huh?" Summer said.

"Yeah." Marissa said, unsure of whether or not she should tell Summer about Berkeley before she'd told her mom. After a while, when she couldn't keep it in anymore. "One more thing happened."

"What?" Summer asked, looking over at Marissa.

"I got into Berkeley." Marissa said.

"What? That's amazing! I didn't even know you applied." Summer said.

" I applied a couple of weeks ago, after Ryan and I got back together; I just realized I didn't want to spend a minute away from him." Marissa said.

"Well that's great coop." Summer said.

Then neither of them said anything, there was a comfortable silence in the car. Both of them thinking about how much things had changed yet how much they were still the same.


End file.
